#so now i must suffer đŽâđ¨đŽâđ¨
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Things to never say to someone who just came out as HATCHETFIELD CHARACTERS đłď¸âđđłď¸âđđłď¸âđ
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#i did not realize tumblr had a photo limit when i made this#so now i must suffer đŽâđ¨đŽâđ¨#also im sure someone's done this already but#im giving it my own â¨special⨠spin#starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#tgwdlm#black friday#npmd#hannah foster#ruth fleming#tom houston#linda monroe#bill woodward#nightmare time
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Good old days
Sanemi x f!reader
Plot: Upon learning that an old friend of his had returned to work as a demon slayer and had been injured on a mission, he could not sit idly by and demanded answers about her return.
A/n: how to have a man like himđŽâđ¨ I have so many ideias for him and I hope I got time to write them all.
Tw: Nsfw

For him, there were only a few people for whom he had respect and admiration. His tough and rough personality, his unusual strength and his serious gaze made him difficult to get close to. However, he was not completely monster as many thought, he still had a calm nature. The traumas of his past shaped him to be this way, but inside his heart there were still feelings.
The losses in his life also took away his joy and made him avoid creating bonds, often for fear of losing them. But there was a especially bond that still remained in his heart and he still wondered where that person was now. A friendship with benefits from the past that ended up going a little further than it should have been.
He thought about you a lot, thought and thought and thought again, it was taking over him. Even though he had tried to convince himself that he was just superficial and had no deep feelings, he only ended up making everything more difficult. Your job and his was like dancing with death every night. But while you had hope that everything would work out, he couldn't think in the same optimistic way as you.
Deep down, he was sorry, he was sorry that night hadn't gone the way you both wanted. He knew you must have been hurt by him for just wanting to leave things like that. You fell first but he fell harder, but not out of pride but out of fear, he left. Not that he hadn't suffered for two years.
But a few days ago, after he was confronted by the master who was also aware of the situation, he understood that he was wrong in some of the things he said to you and you to him.
"Sanemi, you need to be calmer. Dealing with feelings in a hot head is not good. In the heat of the moment we think and say unpleasant things, but after we calm down, we realize that we weren't doing the right thing after all." The master spoke in his soft voice and the wind hashira listened attentively. "You and Y/n argued that night, right? Some unpleasant things were said at the time, you were younger and more immature, but now that two years have passed, what do you really feel? Do you still think the same way?" The master asked
"Even after two years, I'm still very confused about the situation... I don't know if I should go and talk to her. She must still be mad at me." Sanemi sighed, scratching the back of his neck, and the master smiled
"Be positive, my child. She's changed, she's more mature than before, just like you. You've changed too, your attitude has become more respectful, we've both been able to have more personal conversations regarding our first meeting in that morning."The master remembered and Sanemi lowered his gaze, embarrassed by the words he had spoken against the master. There were still regrets from that day and the master noticed. "You don't need to look like that, I've forgiven you. Now, allow me to tell you something."
"What?" Sanemi looked at him
"Your friend, Y/n, she's back on missions. She was here a few weeks ago and came to talk to me. She not only look more mature but stronger than before."
"What?!" His eyes widened. "What do you mean, oyakata-sama? She's back? What mission did she go on?" Hashira's voice began to grow worried and nervous
"She was here a week ago, and left the mansion the same night. She should return home tonight and come back tomorrow morning to make the report." He explained."I think you should go see her, you two should talk and reconcile. I believe that everything will work out."
"How can you be so sure of your words?"
"Because I believe in you, my child. I believe that you can change this." The master smiled but Sanemi's expression was still one of uncertainty
"Go to her, she will listen to you."Ubuyashiki ordered and Sanemi knelt and bowed before the man
"I will do so, Oyakata-sama. Excuse me."The hashira stood up and left
Sanemi was walking down the hallway of the master's mansion with a thoughtful look. The master was too positive about the situation, while he was having doubts and fears, but just like on the battlefield, he never ran away. And after the master's orders were given, they had to be carried out.
~~~
You returned home after that long mission and let yourself fall against the wall, slowly sliding your back down and finally sitting on the floor. You dropped your head forward, a sigh of tiredness and relief left your lips. Your body was limp, tired from all that long battle against the demons.
You unbuttoned your uniform to look at the wound on your abdomen, it was open and leaking blood, it looked like a cut, maybe caused by a demon claw or something. Maybe it had been made at some point during the fight.
It didn't look deep but it could become infected if left untreated. A knock on the door sounded and you looked in its direction, one hand holding the sword for not knowing who was it behind the door.
Slowly and with some effort because of the wounds, you got up, buttoned your uniform back up and headed for the door.
You opened the door enough so that your eyes could see through the crack who it was. Your heart sank at that moment when you saw him standing there. You really missed him more than you should.
"What was he doing there? How long has it been..." You thought
As much as you wanted to close the door and send him away, a part of you decided to let him in to talk. After all, things hadn't been cleared up between you two.
You put the sword aside and opened the door for him and Sanemi did nothing more than just look you up and down, seeing how much you had changed. You looked even more beautiful since the last time he saw you, more serious and, as the master had said, stronger. He could feel it just by being there by your side.
You also looked from his head to toe, seeing how he seemed stronger and his muscles bigger since the last time you saw him. He had a more serious face too and more scars on his chest than before. It was impossible not to feel some butterflies with the tall and broad figure right there at your door.
"Are you going to let me in or are you going to fuck me all night with your eyes?" He asked abruptly, making you wake up from your thoughts
His voice was deeper than before, but as you had imagined, the attitude was still there.
You just moved aside and gestured for him to come in, and he did so. You closed the door and looked at him as he looked around the house, remembering the good old days with you there.
If only those walls could talk...
"What are you doing here, wind pillar?" You asked, looking away when he turned to you
"Wind pillar?" He repeated the formal title, looking at you and shaking his head. That's not how you used to called him. "How have you been? I heard you came back from a mission."
"Yes, that's true. I've returned to the demon slayer corps." You nodded shyly because of his eyes on you
You knew that this had also been discussed that night. He had told you to leave the corps and that's where everything went wrong. Maybe you didn't realize it before but he was afraid of losing you and wanted to do everything he could to protect you, just like he did with his brother.
He knew that you had potential, strength and skills, but he also knew that you, like him, could die at any moment.
You, on the other hand, didn't want to leave because you didn't want to let him fight alone, and even if you had to die on the battlefield, you would die happy for having fought until the end and for having met him, the man you loved. But neither of you shared your reasons at that night, and that's why for two years, the situation was never resolved.
"Why?"
"'Why' what?"
"Why did you come back?"
"Because I realized where I belong." You answered in a low voice. "After that night, I decided to move away from the slayer corps because I thought I wouldn't be able to continue, knowing that I would cross paths with you almost every day, in training, in meetings or during breaks by chance. I didn't feel well, I needed time and space."You explained, avoiding maintaining eye contact with him. "After months, I came to the conclusion that deep down it was what you wanted, I was doing exactly what you wanted. You wanted me to leave, you wanted me to live a good life, right? So let me tell you that I will not do your will. The world out there is boring and the adrenaline I needed was here. It always was."
"What a shame...I thought you had found someone in that boring world. You said that maybe there was someone out there who would understand you, someone who would care for you and to be your side."Sanemi spoke with a certain bitterness leaving his lips, at the thought that some other man had touched you
He would never be able to handle this burden...even if he was too proud to admit it.
"I believe so, I believe there could even be someone more understanding than you out there to realize how I was feeling that night, but no, I haven't had anyone since then." The relief inside him came, but was temporarily since you decided to tease him a little."But while I was away, I got a job and met some people, among them a very special friend. He was very nice to me and always willing to help me and comfort me if I wasn't well."You looked away when you felt the slight anger in Hashira's eyes.
You still remember how to push his buttons.
"Oh yeah?" Sanemi took small steps towards you and stopped, looking at you to try to meet your averted gaze. "So the next time you go on a mission, ask him to protect you, call his name so he can come and save you like I saved you all those times." His voice sent slight shivers down your body. You didn't want to feel that but you couldn't help.
That feeling was still there.
"He has nothing to do with my missions and besides, this is a secret organization, have you forgotten?"
"But since you love him so much, invite him. I want to see how long this bastard can last here without pissing himself in fear of those motherfuckers."
"Your attitude is still there, isn't it? Your voice is deeper to match that tough personality of yours that is only getting worse with age."You crossed your arms, looking at him
"And you're still the same idiot you've been since two years ago. Your voice is also more annoying to match that silly personality."
"Sanemi, please, I just got back from a mission and I don't want to spend the rest of the night arguing with you, okay? If you came here to make the things worst, you can leave." You pointed to the door, starting to get a little fed up with that conversation
"Oh, now you know my name? Where's the 'wind pillar' now?" He laughed, mocking. "What's with that face? Don't tell me you're already getting mad with my visit?"
"Deep down you even like it, don't you? You like seeing me in a bad mood, you like seeing me with my claws out?"
"It's better than that depressed face I saw when I walked in. I guess spending too much time with that friend of yours wasn't good for you." Sanemi said, revealing a bit of his jealousy
"Oh, so that's it, huh?! Are you jealous now?" You smiled and he narrowed his eyes
"Jealous? No fucking way!" He bite back and you could only laugh at the situation
"So why are you so worried about the other guys? Come on, tell me--" You felt a pain on the side of your abdomen and grunted, bringing your hands there, applying pressure. "Shit!"
"What's wrong?" Sanemi quickly changed his expression, seeing you in pain
"Nothing." You pulled yourself together even with the pain
"Nothing, my ass! What's that blood staining your uniform?"He pointed, seeing the blood even through the dark uniform. "Are you hurt?"He tried to reach his hands for the fabric, but you slapped his hand
"Get away!" You stepped back, pushing him away
"Don't be stubborn, brat. Let me see." He insisted
"Damn it, Sanemi! Let me go." You shouted and he rolled his eyes, pulling away and snorting
"You're so unbearable, so stubborn! You're annoying me being like this."
"You are just describing yourself, Sanemi. Why do you care so much, huh? Why?"You replied, angry at him. "You literally made a fuss to get me out of this life, not caring how I would feel and now you come here to worry about me."
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING LOSE YOU!" He yelled, making you freeze at his action. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT YOU OUT OF THE SLAYER CORPS NOW?"
You looked at him, not with an offensive demeanor like before, but more vulnerable after he admitted that.
"I never wanted this, I never wanted you to come into this life because you could die, you could be just another loss in the hands of demons. Damn! I don't want to lose anyone else and... I don't want to lose you too, idiot! I don't want you to die, that's why I always wanted to keep you away, I didn't want to get attached to you because I was afraid of losing you."He paused for a moment and you felt a certain moisture cover your eyes seeing him be so honest."I knew I was playing a dangerous game when I came to this house, when I came to see you after a mission and you smiled at me, when you treated my wounds, when you touched me, when we fu..." He closed his eyes, pressing his lips together and feeling such great anxiety take over him
You looked at him, listening to every single one of those words and finally understanding his reasons. Why he had done all that, why he had gone so far.
A little tear ran down your face, you felt sorry for him, all that sincerity of his didn't even make it seem like it was Sanemi who was there.
He rarely opened up, but at that moment he didn't hide anything from you. All those words caused something in you that you no longer knew if you still had a grudge against him or if you loved him even more.
"Sanemi..." You whispered his name softly
"And yet you came back to this life," He cut off your sentence that was going to follow."you came back to bleed. I could protect you if you had listened to me that night, I could keep you safe if you let me."His voice seemed calmer now and his gaze softer
"But you're not immortal, Sanemi. You can't do all this alone." You raised your eyes to meet his. "That's why I came back, to be by your side. Because I couldn't run away from my feelings."
You looked at each other for a moment that seemed endless. He wanted to respond to what you had just said but preferred to remain silent.
After that tense moment, you took a deep breath and slowly, your hands unbuttoned the top of your uniform and let it fall to the floor. Both your eyes and his were fixed on each other's faces. But for a moment, he looked at the open wound you had, the same one that stained your uniform.
You then took off your belt and pulled down your pants, throwing them to where the top of your uniform was.
You didn't know why you were doing it, why you were exposing yourself like that in front of him. Not that you haven't done this before, but for some reason it felt like the first time.
He looked your half-naked body up and down, seeing how you had evolved and some scars on your skin, the result of training and the missions you had done before. There were also some recent scratches and wounds, which was normal since you had just come from a mission.
However, that was still the body he had already marked, the body that his hands had already touched, the body that no one else could have but him.
"Aren't you going to finish the show?"He asked, a slight teasing tone in his low, deep voice
"No, you don't deserve to see the rest after chose to stay quiet and leave me instead of solving things." You decided to act tough like he used to do, giving him a taste of his own medicine
"Hiding something that I've already seen a lot of times?"His words were getting more and more suggestive and you just sighed
"I need to go take a shower and treat these wounds. If you want to wait for a moment, feel free. I won't be long."
"Maybe if you had calmed down that pretty ass of yours, none of this would have happened."
You felt your cheeks turn red at the comment, but you didn't let it get to you. He was making you feel embarrassed and it was annoying you.
You walked past him, but a stronger arm grabbed you by the waist and kissed you voraciously. You were speechless when he did that so suddenly, and worse than that, you didn't know why you were kissing him back. Maybe it was how much you missed him, maybe it was the love you still felt, maybe it was the fact that he was even more intense than before. You didn't knew.
You stepped away for a moment, looking at him, trying process what just happened.
"What are you doing?" You asked
"What do you think? Taking back what's mine." He said, pushing you against the wall and kissing your lips
You wrapped your arms around his neck while his strong hands held your waist. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to enter to dance with yours. You already missed that warm, that strong arms around you, the rough and messy lips against yours.
It didn't take long for him to remove your last two pieces of clothing, his agile and calloused hands running over your skin. As soon as his right hand went down between your legs, you grabbed his wrist and that's when his lips left your neck and looked at you.
"You still have a lot of clothes, don't you think?" You bit your lip in a teasing way."It's a bit unfair."
He quickly removed his uniform, your hands coming to help his and allowing you to see his naked body.
He was already strong before becoming a hashira and had defined muscles but now they were even more developed.
"I see you've trained a lot these years." You looked him up and down, your hands passing all over the chest and abdomen."Your muscles look harder."
"And it's not just the muscles."He raised an eyebrow suggestively
"It seems so."You looked down, noticing his erection and you just smiled, licking your lips
You then held his shoulders, jumping on his arms with your legs wrapped around his waist. His hands digging into the flesh of your thighs as his lips found yours once more.
"Come on, make me yours then." Your lips brushed against his, both of your panting breaths meeting
"You're already mine, don't you understand?" He growled. "No one else can have you. Only me."
~~~
So much longing for each other, so much lost time was being made up for between the two of you at that moment. So many kisses, so many hugs, caresses, words, so many things he wanted to do during all that time were now being put into practice. He wasn't satisfied, the rounds on the bathroom weren't enough, now in the bedroom he was still there, all over you, his lips kissing your neck as he moved inside you. One hand ran from your thigh and moved towards your neck. Your moans and whimpers, his name coming out of your mouth like a plea, was driving him crazy. He already missed hearing you moaning his name.
"I bet your friend would give anything to be in my place now...Filling you like this..."He whispered, breathlessly, close to your ear."But you can't give him that pleasure, because you're mine. All mine." He quickened the pace and you moaned
"Nemi..."
"I'm going to make everyone know who you are... Everyone will know that you'll be my beautiful wife."He grunted, his hands grabbing your jaw."Would you accept it?"
"I-I'm...Nemi..."You felt the joy and pleasure tears running your cheeks as you felt yourself so close
"Say it."He picked up the pace even more, his hand tightening its grip on your jaw, making the things harder for you.
"Yes...I accept to be your wife..."A loudly moan left your lips, your mind too foggy and fucked to think straight at that moment."I'm cumming..."
"That's it, come for me, baby."He panted, moving faster."Show how much you miss me."
Your head tilted back on the pillow, his lips met your open ones, kissing you while he was still fucking you through your orgasm, your moans muffled by the kiss. The overstimulation caused your nails to dig deep into the skin on his back, probably leaving red lines everywhere, he didn't feel pain, only pleasure from it. It also hadn't take much for him to come and spill all his seed inside of you, until you're full and dripping out on the sheets.
"Fuck."He grunted with a last thrust
He rested his forehead against yours, catching his breath, his eyes closed, the drops of sweat on his body mixing with yours, his fingers relaxing their grip on your hip and a long sigh leaving his lips.
Your eyes were almost closed but you could still see his face above yours, a face with scars but so precious at that moment. The face of the man you dreamed all that time.
"Babe?" You called softly
"Hm?" His eyes still remained closed
"Are you okay?"
He just nodded, opening his eyes slightly to meet yours.
"I missed this." You said, running your hands over his face. "I missed you."
"Me too." He took your hand and kissed it, then leaned in to kiss your lips
It was a soft kiss, more romantic than the ones he had given you before.
"So... What are we now?"
"I told you before, you're my fiancĂŠe now."He replied, looking into your eyes. "And I'm going to put a ring on that finger of yours one of these days."
"Wow, that's sounds romantic!"You giggled."I like that side of you. You could be like that more often instead of being rough."
"I didn't see you complain."
"Shut up."You patted his shoulder and he gave you a peck on the lips
The Hashira withdraw from you and knelt between your legs, seeing the mess he had made of you. Your body was sweaty, your face flushed, your chest was heaving and your legs were spread and shaking.
"When was the last time you ended up like this?"
"Like what?"
"Exactly like you are now."
"Let me see...Oh, the night you stormed out of my room, remember?"
"Great, that means no one else had to touch what's mine since that day. Good girl."He smirk
"Asshole." You smiled, stretching out your leg to lightly kick his chest, but he pulled you onto his lap by it
You rested your forehead against his and you smiled, planting a kiss on his nose and then on his lips.
"Tomorrow I have to go talk to the master in the morning. I'll make my mission report." You said. "I didn't actually return to my role as a full-time member of the corps but as an "extra help" on the missions. I was thinking about talking to the master, to see if he'll let me supervise the trainees too." You said, looking into his eyes and seeing them soften. You couldn't tell for sure if it was because of your fingers playing with his hair or if it was because of your decision.
"As long as you stay off the battlefield or just carry out missions solely by my side, it's fine with me."
"But I'm strong, you know? I can handle those demons by myself too."
"I know, I can see the passion for the battlefield in your eyes when you fight."His arms embraced you and he kissed the valley of your breasts. "I just don't want you fighting alone either, but now that you mentioned supervising trainees, it wouldn't be a bad idea to see you acting all tough, leading those weaklings."He smiled
"Don't say that, I feel sorry for them, they are so young but some are so determined. I feel even more bad when they have to train with you." You laughed
"Oh, it seems your heart has softened. I still remember when you used to torture demons." He look at you, his head tilting to the side."Now you feel sorry for those idiots?"
"I would never give them the same treatment."
"Why not? I bet they would become stronger."
"The only difference is that I don't kill them, like I do with demons after torturing them."You winked at him, kissing his forehead and hugging his body closer to yours
~~~
After remaining hugged for a few moments, he pulled away and could see a stain of your blood on his arm that was from the wound. Maybe due to the previous effort you ended up bleeding.
"Your wound opened," He laid you down on the mattress and you looked at him."I'm going to get something to clean it and then treat it." You nodded
You couldn't help but look at the way he held the wet cloth all over your body, cleaning not only the blood from the wound but also the traces of the previous act.
"Nice job you did down there." You said and he looked at you
"Thanks!" A smirk appeared on his lips. "I was just marking my territory."
"Why are you always so---ahh." You grunted in pain as he passed the wet cloth over the wound."Possessive?"
"Did it hurt?"
"What do you think?!"
He then bandaged the wound for you, rolling his eyes every time you winced or complained that it hurt.
~~~
"Can I ask you a question?" You looked at him as he lay down next to you
"What?"
"When was the last time you had a night like that?" You decided to ask him the same thing
"As far as I remember, it was the same night you got mad at me and sent me away." He said
"Oh, so it seems no one has touched what's mine since then either. Good boy." You smiled teasingly. "Good night, Nemi."You said, turning off the lamp and he just frowned as you lay down with your back to him
"I guess I'm not the only possessive one here, am I?" He whispered next to your ear, one hand around your waist pulling your back against his chest
"I'm just marking my territory." You turn your head to look at him, teasingly
Sanemi couldn't help but find your playful face hilarious, you being possessive like him also turned him on a little.
"I liked that side of yours, you know? It suits you well."He kissed your forehead and pulled you closer."Good night."
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba fandom#demon slayer fandom#kimetsu no yaiba anime#kimetsu no yaiba fic#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#demon slayer anime#demon slayer fic#demon slayer x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x you#demon slayer x you#kimetsu no yaiba sanemi#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi x reader#shinazugawa sanemi#demon slayer sanemi#sanemi fanfic#anime blog#anime writing blog#anime fic#fluff#smut
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đşđđđđđ đ´đđ
Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader
Warnings: NSFT, MDNI, OOC(?), Implied Age gap, p in v, fingering, praise, pet names, size kink, nipple play, oral sex, body insecurities, aftercare
Mentions: Reader is a single mom, Reader is implied to be younger than Toji, Pet names (mama, darling, daddy)
AO3 Link
AN: So, this is my first Toji fic mostly because I wasn't a fan of him but fine he's hot đŽâđ¨ so please don't shit on me if this is bad.
----
Sometimes it really was too much. You wouldn't trade your kid for anything in the world. You loved your child, they were everything to you. However, ever since your ex-boyfriend left about a year ago, things haven't been easy.Â
It was hard to find any time for yourself. Even years after pregnancy, you were still suffering from some mental struggles. Between work and raising the kid on your own, there wasn't much time to take care of yourself.Â
Toji had recently moved into the apartment building. Only a few doors down from you. He didn't take much notice of you until you bumped into him one morning, quite literally.Â
Toji was heading to the elevator so he could go to the gym on the first floor. Meanwhile, you were heading off to work and dropping your kid off at daycare.Â
Your head was overflowing with thoughts. You were thinking about the bills and what to fix for dinner, along with the small amount of sleep you managed. You felt overwhelmed with embarrassment and almost disappointment in yourself when you bumped into the brick wall that is Toji.Â
âOh god, I'm so sorryâ you quickly said as Toji met your gaze.Â
He took in your appearance. From the color of your eyes to your figure, even noticing the weary look on your face.Â
There wasn't much you could say for yourself. That one coincidental meeting turned into âgood morningsâ when you left for work; they turned into him knowing your kidâs name, and eventually you hired a babysitter to spend your night with Toji.Â
âHey mamaâ he smirked as he let you into his apartment. It was cleaner than you expected. You didn't really know how to act around Toji sometimes. His presence took up so much space, and just his aura alone was dominating. You didn't know much about Toji, but a part of you didn't want to know too much. You already felt your emotions were out of line with Toji. The simple act of him placing his large hand on your lower back made your skin warm.Â
The both of you ended up watching a movie on the couch. Which eventually leads to Toji listening to your rambling.
âI'm just so fucking tiredâŚâ you sigh, rubbing a hand over your face. âBetween work and my kid, and my bastard ex leavingâ you groaned with annoyance. You weren't sure why you were telling him all this, but you needed a vent so badly.Â
âMm, the bastard left you alone with the kid?â Toji rasped; he knew he wasn't a perfect parent. You didn't know that, however. But Toji knew how young your kid was, and he's met enough women to know it wasn't easy for you. Plus, the postpartum depression of any child birth is hard to conquer.Â
âYeahâ you sigh in response. âEverything was fine in our relationship; I don't know why he changed like thatâŚâ.Â
Toji did feel a little insincere when it came to you. He wanted to be honest, but he didn't know if that would do either of you any good. At first, he did just want to sleep with you, but now? He felt infatuated.Â
âPeople change, itâs hell but it happensâ he responds. Toji places his hand on your thigh and rubs it gently. âBut you didn't deserve that, darlingâ he comforts. The action sends a familiar feeling to the space in between your thighs.Â
A part of you gives into reason and thinks you should leave, but Toji must have noticed. âLet me take care of you. You work so hard, mama. Just let a real man take care of youâ he rasps. He needed you, and you wanted him.Â
âI don't much remember how to let someoneâŚtake care of meâ you sigh but Toji doesn't mind. âLet me help you rememberâ he smirks.Â
Toji leans in close, and you respond, giving him the silent answer he needs. He kisses you; heâs firm and a bit rough. But you kind of liked it.Â
Kisses turn into making out, tongues tasting one another, and then his hands slip into your panties. Pulling away from the kiss leaves a trail of drool connecting your lips to his. âSo wet, mama. Just relax for me, I know how to take care of pretty thingsâ he rasps and you don't bother to question him.Â
Tojiâs fingers toy with your clit. You moan as your hands grip his broad shoulders. âFuck- Toji~â you can't help but moan; you were so sensitive ever since having your kid. âGood girl, doing good for me. Nobodyâs been paying this pretty pussy any attention?â He chuckles lowly as he finally just takes off your panties. He needs to see itâsee how slick you are and how your walls tighten.Â
âNoâ you whine âNobody pays attention to me, Iâm not as good looking since I had a kidâ you admit. Well, your ex told you that. Toji doesn't believe it, if anything; knowing this now only makes him want to fuck your pussy full and show you how âunattractiveâ he thinks you are.Â
âLet me show you how fucking sexy you are, babeâÂ
You writhe beneath Toji on his bed now. He is two fingers deep in your pussy as he adds a third. A pathetic moan leaves your lips as you grind into his hand while he fucks you full of his fingers, down to his knuckles.Â
âAhah- Toji- Oh God~â you moan out loudly, only hoping maybe your neighbors aren't hearing. Especially your babysitter. You swear you didn't hire them just to go fuck some older man, even if it was happening now.
âSo pretty, mama. Tightening around my fingers, making such a messâŚâ he smirks as he watches your pussy clench around him. The messy squelching sounds from how wet you were only made Tojiâs cock ache.Â
âToji- I'm gonna cum..fuck~â you moan out, your head tilting back into the pillows. But your pleasure was taken away just as quickly as it started. You let out a pant as you looked at Toji with a pathetic whine.Â
âDon't start, I'm not gonna leave you. Just need that pretty pussy sopping around my cock. Want you to squirt all over me, mama so I can lick your cunt clean after.â He smirks, his words almost being enough to send you over the edge.Â
Toji frees his cock from his sweatpants, and it's fucking huge. More than you ever took, but fuck if that didn't have your cunt tightening around nothing. Heâs painfully hard, with the tip leaking pre-cum.Â
âCan you spit on it for me, mama? Wanna get it nice and slick for youâ You've never been in something so erotic. You sit up and gather some saliva on your tongue before spitting it out onto Tojiâs cock. He doesn't hesitate to smear it all over the tip with his hand and then down his length.Â
âThat's my good girl, so fucking sweet to meâ he rasps as a groan leaves his throat. He needed your pussy clenching around him. Toji tugs at your shirt, but you pull back a little, and he pauses, looking at you, wanting an explanation as to why you didn't allow it. His intense gaze makes you fold.Â
âI justâŚwhat if you don't like itâŚâ you look away. Toji was such an attractive man. He was muscular, tall, broad, and, overall, just masculine. You were sure he could have anybody he wanted, and he probably has.Â
Toji looked at you as if being anything less than a horny bastard for you was impossible. He quickly pulled off your shirt; obviously, he won that battle.Â
âIf I don't like it?â He groans as he rubs his tip along the slick entrance of your pussy âThat's not possible, let me show you how I feel about youâ. He then fills up your cunt in one swift motion. A loud moan falls from you as you writhe with pleasure beneath him, your legs hooking around his waist.
Pathetic whimpers leave your throat as you get used to his size. He gives you a minute, but then he's relentless.
Toji grabs your thighs and presses them into you. His cock hits deep, kissing your cervix as he begins to fuck you. His thrusts hit that spot in you every time; his pace was too fast. You could barely pull in a breath between each thrust. You moan out loudly into the small apartment. Your hands coming up to grip onto his broad shoulders.Â
âSo fucking tight, you're so prettyâŚâ he chuckles breathlessly, watching you writhe on his cock. He leaned down and popped one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on it.Â
It was so fucking erotic. Tojiâs black hair draped over his face as he sucked on your breasts, teeth grazing you. His cock fucking the deepest part of you as his muscular arms held your thighs open. His balls slapping into your ass with every desperate thrust.Â
You scratch into his back as you moan out for him. He was overwhelming, but you loved every second of it. You've never been fucked this good, and you haven't felt anywhere near this good in a while.Â
Toji pulled off your hardened nipple. He pressed a hand onto your stomach, and you tightened around him when you noticed the noticeable bulge he left in you with every thrust.Â
âSo fucking big, daddy~â you moan as you continue to scratch into him. âYeah, mama~? This cock fucking you good? Gonna squirt all over daddyâs cock?âÂ
âMhm, I'm so close-â you whine. Toji pulls back a little as he wraps one hand around your throat. He presses his forehead against yours as his pace quickens.Â
âLook at me, I want to look at your pretty face as I fill this pretty cuntâ he groans as he relentlessly rails into you.
The apartment was filled with pathetic moans from both of you, wet squelching sounds, and skin slapping against each other.Â
âToji Toji-â you scream out for him as you squirt onto his cock. Your liquids are soaking his dick and lower stomach. Your pussy tightens around him, dragging more moans from the man on top of you. You feel his cock twitch as the tip presses into your cervix, then he cums. Toji pants as he watches your expression contort with pleasure as he fills your pussy.Â
âGood girl, so fucking dirty, mamaâ he chuckles. He thrusts a few more times, making sure his cum was fucked into you. In truth, he could do this all night. He wanted to keep pounding you. Fucking you full of his cum, fuck you until his cock went limp, but that's not what tonight was about.Â
He slowly drags his cock out of you. He groans at the sight of your cum covering every inch of his cock and some of his stomach. He leans in and kisses your cheek before his head finds its way between your thighs. His tongue ran over the slit.Â
You whine in response, tangling a hand into his messy hair. Toji licks all over your cunt, sucking up all your cum like it was his only meal for the month. He groaned against your pussy as he fucked his tongue inside of you.Â
âDaddy- it's too much, I can't-â you whine as you writhe beneath him, making him hold your thighs open. Toji doesn't care; he was obsessed with you and drunk on your pretty pussy.Â
He laps at you until you cum again, squirting all over his face. You shake beneath him with pleasure as you try to catch your breath.
His face covered in your slick, he smirks, running a hand through his hair as he takes you in. The look in his eyes definitely makes you reconsider your exâs words.Â
Toji gives you both a bath. He was also a lot more caring than you expected. Maybe there was more to Toji than you could understand, at least right now.Â
He places kisses on your neck as he cleans you up, taking care of you. âMm, take care of yourselfâ he rasps as he kisses the back of your neck. âCan't keep fucking you good if you let yourself wither awayâ he whispers in your ear.Â
Toji himself didn't even know why he was so obsessed with you. He thought maybe he just wanted to fuck you. But it was obvious now that he wanted more than just one night with the single mom a few apartments down.
#fanfic writer#my writing#archive of our own#fem reader#jujustsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#jjk x reader#jjk toji#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushigro x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk fushiguro#toji x female reader
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Daendels and Freemason (Part 2)
Daendels was initiated as an apprentice on 27 October 1785 in the Freemason lodge Le Profond Silence in Kampen, which had been established in 1770. Later, he became a fellowcraft (gezell) in the same lodge. It is unclear whether Daendels maintained any relationship with Freemasonry later in his life.
Another thing for the record. Br. de Visser Smits says that Daendels himself was a Freemason, but did not have a good heart for Freemasonry. (...) This says that the reports about whether or not he was a Freemason contradict each other. Presumably he was.
The rule of G.G. Daendels - according to brother Dirk, who should know, he must have been a Freemason! - formed a fearful time for the Freemasons. Daendels must have suffered from certain complexes: and thought that there was a conspiracy in the Lodge against his rule. He had the movements of the Freemasons closely examined, confiscated their archives and dismissed and imprisoned several Freemasons with high positions in the government.
Daendels, although a freeman himself, was definitely not well-disposed towards the freeman. "He always maintained that there was an English party in Batavia, and that the Masons formed the core of it." (...)
Soo since last week I've been invested in this entire thing đśâđŤď¸ Well at least know we know that Daendels has been in the Mason stuff when he was 23 y.o but don't know if he continues w them or no. Now I do have a theory regarding this, I believe he is but as time goes he sort of forgot or js leave but never officially did đ§ so ppl still thinks that he's part of it. In the second point, the writer seemed to be not sure if Daendels is a freemason or no which make sense since we so far only knows it from the Kampen book in the first point. I tried to find the book online but haven't found it sadly đŽâđ¨
I already talked abt this topic in an old post here (shout out to @jel-randombooth for the amazing analysis as well ^^) abt how Daendels treated the freemason in the Indies n possible reasons why he behaved like that. While investigating this topic, I found similar points from the previous post that I also want to share here;
A fearful time for the Masonry on Java was the reign of G. G. Daendels. Under his leadership the activities of the Masons were closely monitored, and once even a part of the Archives was requisitioned and confiscated on the pretext that there was a conspiracy in the Lodge against the government of G. G. Daendels. Some time later Nicolaus Engelhard, Van Riemsdijk, member of the Government, Morrees, Secretary of the Government and all members of the Council of Justice, among whom also many Masons, were captured, dismissed and taken to Tjandjoer, where they were placed under the guard of the Supervisor of the Government coffee warehouse, who was ordered to shoot the prisoners if they tried to escape. (...) Fortunately the arrival of G. G. Janssens put an end to this captivity. Nevertheless the Lodges remained closed until after the installations of the English interim administration.
An example of Daendelsâ distrust is his order to hand over the texts of speeches given by Engelhard and the Worshipful Masters of the Batavian lodges at their extraordinary joint meeting on 16 May 1809. Daendels himself had been invited to this meeting as a fellow Mason, but he did not show up. Although nothing offensive was found in the confiscated speeches, the tone was set.
My biggest question is how does the freemason ppl know Daendels was a mason himself? Possible explanantion is probably he knows secret symbol or gestures that they did imo 𤨠Him not attending the invited meeting tells me that he doesn't seemed interested in it. Another thing; the freemason only returned when the British came to the Indies which kinda shows that they kinda have connection w them đŹ Bcs like Janssens seemed to pity them n even released the imprisoned members, why wouldn't they js return back to normal during those time? So I guess Daendels have the right to be sus abt them.
I tried to investigate aswell abt if Daendels still had some sort of connections w the freemason outside of his Indies years, so far I haven't found anything that indicate it but I do find this signature that Daendels did in a letter after he's from the Indies; (dw I will share the content of the letter later in another post)

I remembered seeing a post abt a napoleonic figure that are in a freemason do a three or two lines in their signature (?)đ I lowkey forgot n I couldn't find the post so pls if anyone knows abt this, feel free to tell me :D Anyway back to the pic, I think a sus part was the two dots in between the H and W. I read abt the mason ppl often use a three dots resembling a triangle in their signature n I know that in the pic it's only two so it could be js a style that Daendels did outside of his official letters since so far I mostly saw his signature in official documents in the Indies so he could've decided smth simpler instead of writing "HW Daendels" This is why I need to see his letters outside official stuff ex like letter to his friends or wife etc đŤ
God damn this is long ass post I hope y'all can read it đ I'd love to see u guys theories regarding this haha â¨ď¸ That's all for now, thank you n have a great day, stay safe đ
#daendels#napoleonic era#history#dutch#dutch history#freemasonry#free masons#theory#fan theory#governor general#dutch east indies#secret society#napoleonic wars
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So hungyyyyyy
No food at home I can quickly make and the new pizza place down the street I have time to walk to isnât doing lunch hours yet đđđ
why must I suffer this way đŤ
I have one donut I wanted to save for dessert tonight but itâs looking mighty yummy right now đŽâđ¨đ
#I tried to eat a bar my mom bought last week and itâs so fucking chewy I cannot#a lunch break being only 30min should be illegal#I literally have no time to get anywhere and back if I donât have food at home so I just donât eat
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hereâs my all over the place ramble about chapter three of SUNDERED:
gojo do you really love her or are you just mad a toy you pushed aside is being played with by somebody else (i hate to objectify reader like this BUT DAMMIT THATS WHAT ITS GIVING)
now im not a fan of toji but im starting to see his appeal⌠what kinda magic do you wield???? đŤ i literally went from looking at toji like this to this


im so ready to read readerâs perspective of like just everything đŠ ugh i cant wait to hear about how sheâs gotten bitten by the lovebug with toji đ¤ reader better stick to toji like white on rice cause baby MEGUMI IS A REAL ONE HE WOULDVE HAD HER BACK WHEN NAOMI DID THAT SHIT THE FIRST TIME đ
anyways i hate to say it and i know i sound ridiculous but satoruâs suffering makes me slightly sad but also AHA THATS WHAT YO ASS GET! đŤľđ KEEP IT COMING WOOOO!!!!
NOW LETâS CHAT ABOUT THAT ENDING

superb cliffhanger i must say. i can already hear the crack in the dam. hope heâs got some good plot floaties (badum tss) to save him from this oncoming waveâŚ.? đşđž
i wish i had some deep thoughts to say bc this chapter is just so great and i wanna just dissect it line by line đŽâđ¨ but ill leave you with this mini ramble of thoughts ! you are truly an inspiration đŠ
where do you get those expressive drawings i loVE THEMđ and did you mean the lovebug bite when they got out of the room after changing? he gave that to her real quick when they changedđ it wasn't supposed to be obvious immediately but he BIT HER so yeah, it got red quickly. anw thanks so muchhhh <33
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Ahhh thank you, my friend!!! 𼰠Omg I'm so glad you've heard of The Clock! (And oh YES, same with Vought Rising. đ I foresee so much SB fanfic coming soon from this fandom lmao.)
Love how the first line of this story is an easter egg. You never cease to amaze me, Alex đ¤
Hahaa I love you for catching that! It's funny, when I was trying to decide how much time after WWII to set this in and finally landed on November, I couldn't not do November 2. (Because I'm a nerd. đ¤)
*furrows brow* The Producers?? đ¤
Oh my God, you got me again!!! I freakin' LOVE The Producers (2005 version), and since it's set in New York (albeit in the 50s), I couldn't help a little easter egg. đ (again, big nerd alert)
Oh yes, we all remember that episode. Of course he would đ Poor Sam lol
lmfaoo Sam is so long-suffering, ain't he? đ
Uh-huh... Dear Lord he needs help đ
Alllll the help. Pre-decent psychiatry, unfortunately. đ
Btw, I've been doing my own 40s research for a fic and came across the contraception question. Idk why but condoms and methods of that time freak me tf out. Wondering what your experience with that was (if you came across it) lmao đ
Oh dear lord yes, but I first learned about it from Downton Abbey. Condoms back then were the weirdest effing contraptions I've ever seen. As a woman it would scare me to have that come near me. đ¤˘
Ooof so rough đŽâđ¨ PTSD and seeing all the dirty shit that goes on during a war is really brutal đ˘ (My grandpa was in WWII and told a lot of stories when he was still alive) And then they were seperated too and didn't even know what happened to the other. Heartbreaking đ
Oh wow, the stories your grandfather must have had. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸ From what I've been able to research, it was truly horrific. And in the case of this story yep, compounded by the fact that Sam and Dean were separated for about three years with little to no way of knowing the other was still alive. đ
The sass! Already love her đđŠľ
LOL she's got plenty of fire in her. â¤ď¸âđĽ
*vibes* đ (even though I know MMM is set in 1958 lol)
Oh I love MMM!!! Love that comparison lol.
You don't know how fucking weak it makes me that he smokes in this. That vice will be the death of me đŤ đĽ
Ahaha I remember from one of your comments on Break Me Down where SB was smoking (literally and figuratively)! đ I figured Dean smoking here would be true to the time period, and one of the few ways he can cope with his PTSD.
Aww yeah, Sam's just doing his job. Not easy having a vagina in 1945 and dealing with dicks... đ
Ughh exactly -- a major theme in this story. đŞ
I get abusive vibes from shitty husband. There's more to it than cheating. Either he's emotionally abusive, physically or threathening to be. She seems like she wants to leave quick and quiet, fearing retaliation đ I loved how "damn" counted as cursing đ (Darn it!)
Ooh you're on the right track, unfortunately. đ˘
And LOL gosh darn it, she just couldn't help herself! đđ
Yes, thank you!!! I knew Dean's spidey senses would turn on. (And I know that darn rat bastard can't hurt her now as long as soldier!Dean's around đ)
Oh you already know, Dean's sharp enough to connect those dots. But darn right he's gonna be around to look out for her.
Melted đŤ (I legit die every time I write "Sergeant Shaw" in TCF, but I married a military guy myself, so makes sense I can't resist a uniform and a rank đđĽľ)
Oooh I love it!! I can't resist a man in uniform either, and I'm not even married to one. đŤ But while I'm incredibly behind in my reading, I haven't forgotten about the new chapters of The Exit Strategy, which I can't wait to dive into soon!!! đđ (TCF is the prequel, right?)
I love the 1940s cadence, by the way! You can tell it's a different time period the way the characters speak, the words they choose, and how they phrase things. So well done, my friend! đđ
Aw thank you, Wayne!! That makes me so happy that you think so. 𼚠Especially after watching The Clock, I tried my best to make the reader's cadence feel like a woman from the time period (and Sam and Dean to some extent too). đ
Mama's smelling mob activity... đ¤
Ooh you're not the first person to have made that observation. đ
Such a Dean statement lol I do hope he won't feel so hopeless for long âşď¸
Oooh shall see. 𼰠But I'm glad you thought it was a "Dean statement" loll, he's so self-deprecating sometimes. đĽ˛
Aww, they could've almost met. I love these little coincidences when people meet each other. It's fate đđ
Hahaa that's exactly what I was going for! (Imagine if they had met before she met Michael. đĽ˛)
I'm too busy plotting a gruesome murder in my head to properly get into how much I despise that guy đđ
LOLL girl I don't blame you -- Michael is hot garbage, but it's a case of "got married hella quickly in wartime," so she didn't exactly know who he truly was when she married him. đ
This was such an amazing start to this series! The storyline is so intriguing and the world-building is, well... simply otherworldly. You really took me on a journey to the 1940s here. Speechless, honestly 𩵠I so can't wait to see what else you have in store with this, but I think there will be lots of yelling from me lol đ
I appreciate you so much, Wayne, thank you!! đĽšđĽš I'm so glad you enjoyed the start of this, and that it managed to transport you to the '40s. This chapter was a bit short, but it's a jumping off point for a lot more drama and hyjinks to come! (I anticipate lottts of yelling lmao) đđ
BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 1
Pairing:Â Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. Heâs visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where heâs beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.
AN: My day tomorrow is going to be a bit packed, so I decided to release this a bit early for you guys! So here we go! The first chapter of yet another new series, my first ever 1940s AU. 𼰠I hope you have fun on this one, because I sure did. Again, very much inspired by The Clock (1945), starring Judy Garland and Robert Walker. đ
Prompt for @jacklesversebingo: Historical Epic
Song Inspo: For this chapter itâs âCry Me a Riverâ by Ella Fitzgerald
Word Count:Â 3.9K
Tags/Warnings:Â Angst, mentions of cheating, PTSD, historical tidbits
⨠Series Masterlist
đľÂ YouTube Playlist || Spotify Playlist
Part 1: Legal Grounds
November 2, 1945
Dean idly read the pamphlet stacked with others on his brotherâs desk, which advertised his new and successful enterprise.
Law Offices of Winchester, Bialystock & Bloom
What do you know? His brother had his own office, his own business, and his name on a pamphlet.
Dean couldnât help but curl a finger around a steel ball on the abacus sitting at the head of the mahogany desk, right next to Samâs nameplate.
He let it fly. The abacus began to clack as one ball hit the other.
Sam looked up from the deposition he was writing to give his brother a wry brow raise.
âSo this is what you do, huh?â Dean remarked, crossing his arms.
Without his jacket, his suspenders were on display over his shoulders. His red pinstripe tie was still in place, but his white dress shirt was rolled up to the elbows. Meanwhile, his brother preferred to keep himself more presentable with his sleeves down to his wrists. Jacket on. Â Â Â
Dean glanced around the office, nodding at the line of bookshelves behind Sam, framing him as the bookish academic heâd always been. There was limited seating in here though, just a spare chair in front of the desk, and another to the right of it. Dean stood on the opposite side.
âIf youâre bored, all you have to do is say so,â Sam said. âWhich is strange, considering weâre smack dab in the middle of a city that never sleeps.â
He was right, Dean could concede. His little brother had given him a veritable list of things to do in New York City: visit the park, go to the zoo, see a picture show, visit a nightclub, or sample a host of restaurants that Sam knew Dean would probably enjoy.
Heâd seen a lot of this place in the week that heâd been here visiting Sam, but a good deal of it heâd either spent alone, or with any willing young lady Dean came across, thanks to the demands of this office. If he was honest, entertaining young ladies was eating into the wallet in his trouser pocket, and the hustle and bustle was starting to be a little much for him.
âYou donât get tired of it?â Dean asked, gesturing to the out there beyond them. âThe, uhâŚthe lights, the noise, all the people?â
Sam picked his head up from his paperwork to consider the question. âNo, I like it. Keeps my mind busy, andâŚI guess it makes me feel alive, you know?â
Dean supposed he could understand that, so he nodded.
Sam wasnât fooled though. He thought he could tell what was running through his brotherâs head, watching him fidget, and turn his head a bit sharply when a bus honked loudly outside the officeâs glass doors as it thundered past.
It had only been two months since the end of the war. Two months since he and Dean met back in their family home in Lawrence, Kansas after three years fighting on two different fronts, in two different countries.
Both of them had enlisted, but Sam had spent most of his time in London while he was deployed, helping British Intelligence. Dean had clawed his way out of Normandy, and later, out of the Ardennesâthe last offensive before the end.
Their experiences might as well have been worlds apart, but one thing remained the same: it had been three years in which neither brother knew if theyâd see each other again.
Now, Sam saw the signs. Dean seemed a bit jumpy, overstimulated, but willing to be here to spend a little more time with Sam before he went back home. Guilt prickled in Samâs gut.Â
âIâve got some work here to finish up, but afterwards letâs go to dinner,â he suggested. âMaybe see a show?â
Deanâs lips flickered at a smile. âYouâre burning both ends of the candle. You know that, right?â
Sam opened his mouth to reply, when there was a knock on one of the glass doorsâat the entrance to the small building. Their heads turned, and through the open door of his office, they spotted you standing there in the evening light. You wore a wide-brimmed hat on your head and a scarf underneath, wrapped over your hair and under your chin to shield your face. You knocked again with a hand covered by a leather glove, more persistently.
Cocking his head in confusion, Sam stood from his desk and left the room to let you in. Dean hung back and sat on the corner of the desk to wait. He withdrew a cigarette from the pack and a lighter from his pocket as he did so, but he heard you talking with his brother by the door.
âIâm sorry. Weâre closed, miss,â Sam informed you.
âItâs still two minutes until closing. At least, according to my watch.â
ââŚWell, I suppose youâve got me there.â
âSo can I come in? I need to speak to a lawyer.â
âYou sure it canât wait until tomorrow?â
âIâm afraid it canât, sir.â Your tone was firm, and it more than implied that you wouldnât be moved. Sam paused then, perhaps to take a steeling breath.
âAll right. Come with me, please.â
You later followed behind him through the hallway and into the office. With a lit cigarette between his fingers, his arms crossed, Dean took note of you. He subtly glanced down at your crème-colored blouse, neatly tucked into the long, burgundy skirt (with lipstick to match), your modest, classy heels, and the way you wore your hair. His brows subtly raised. Heâd met quite a few girls this week, but he hadnât seen a lady like you in quite some time.
Shouldâve shaved this morning. The thought was accompanied by the way he swiped a subtle hand over his prickly chin.
You gave him a cursory glance in turn, and offered a polite, âHello.â
He stood from the desk and switched his cigarette to his other hand, so he could shake yours.
âHey there. Dean Winchester,â he said. He offered a smile with no small amount of charm. âPleased to meet youâŚâ
You dutifully gave him your first name only. He found that a little strange, but you soon slipped your hand out of his and focused on the nameplate on the desk, followed by Sam himself.
âSo youâre brothers,â you realized. âDo you work together?â
Dean scoffed. âNope, Iâm just here to distract him.â
Sam tossed him a sidelong glance. There was a subtle edge of bitter truth in there somewhere, and you didnât seem to miss it. You looked between the two men, a hint wary.
âWell, as I said, Iâm here to speak to the solicitor,â you said.Â
âThat would be me,â Sam nodded. He went to his desk and sat down behind it, gesturing for you to do the same in front of him. You obliged him, smoothing your hands down your skirt once you were seated. âHow can I help you?â
You met his eyes with a directness that surprised him a little.
âI want to divorce my husband,â you said.
To say it shocked the room would be an understatement. Behind you, Dean gave his brother a pair of raised brows. Sam didnât allow himself to react too much in order to remain professional, but he still tilted his head, blinking, before he focused on you again.
âWhatâs your husbandâs name?â he asked.
âMichael. Michael Milligan.â
âWhy do you want a divorce, Mrs. Milligan?âÂ
Here, your gaze fell to the folded hands in your lap.Â
âI have reason to believe heâs been unfaithful,â you quietly replied.
Once again, there was a pregnant pause.
âIâm sorry to hear that,â Sam said. His sympathy was genuine, because he could see the way youâd hesitated to say the words, like they embarrassed you, shamed you, and saddened you all at once.Â
âBut I have to ask,â he added, âdo you have proof?â
Dean glanced his way, his brow raising once again. Sam knew what he was thinking, just as he saw how you frowned as well. But there was a reason why he asked, and it wasnât to be unkind.
You sighed. âWhat kind of proof?âÂ
âPictures. Letters. A witness. Something of legal standing that we can use as leverage and as grounds to grant you a divorce, whether he wants it or not,â Sam said.Â
You let out another heavy breath through your nose. âNo, I donât have anything like that.â
âThen what makes you so sure heâs steppinâ out?â Dean chimed in. By now he was leaning against the wall, off to the side where he could smoke with the window cracked open. It let in the sounds of cars and distant honking, people traversing the sidewalks.Â
You turned in your seat to give him a tight look. âIf you must know, thereâve beenâŚsigns. I wonât trouble you with the details, but Iâm sure.â
You met Deanâs gaze, and then Samâs firmly.Â
âSo will you help me?â you asked him. Sam nodded.
âYes, Iâll look into your husband and try to find some evidence of hisâŚextracurricular affairs.â
Your lips pursed. âAnd how long will it take?â
Since you were being so direct, Sam levelled you with honesty.
âIt may take time,â he said. âRealistically, weâre looking at months, even after I find what we need⌠It would be easier to legally separate.â
You had been slowly deflating the more he spoke, but now your expression became stony.
âMr. Winchester,â you began. âI donât want to just be separated. I donât want to live in our apartment, let alone share his bed or wear his last name.â
Despite your best efforts, your voice began to shake. Tears welled up and stung in your eyes.
âI donât want anything from him, other than his signature on the damn papers,â you said. âThe case is that I can no longer tolerate that man in my sight, much less in my life. Will you help me? Or should I look for another lawyer who will actually do his job.â
Sam and Dean shared a glance. For his part, Dean couldnât remember the last time he heard a woman curse. Despite your outburst, the tears clinging to your lashes stirred both men.
âI understand, Mrs. Milligan,â Sam said. âIâll help you. Donât worry.â
He began to look for his handkerchief, but you retrieved one of your own from your purse and quickly dabbed at your eyes, sniffling. You were embarrassed.
âWhat about your fee?â you said, withdrawing your checkbook. âI, umâŚI have a little money stashed away. Iâve always worked, you see.â
Sam nodded and went over what his rate would be going forward. Once the two of you came to an agreement, you signed the first check right then and there, even though he felt bad for even taking it from you.
You were still sniffling, and twice you dabbed under your eyes to make sure your face was dry. When you handed over the check, your hands shook, just a little. Sam wouldnât tell you that he discounted his usual rate. Â
Again, he mentioned that he would need some time first to investigate your husband and begin collecting evidence for your case. He asked you for any documents you could safely bring him of your finances, for example. You agreed to do an investigation of your own.
âJust be careful,â Dean cautioned. He was getting an idea of what kind of man your husband was, but Dean couldnât be too sure of what the man was capable of. Heâd hate to hear of a girl like you getting hurt over a few papers.
Dean put out the bud of his cigarette on the ashtray lying on the windowsill. He pushed off the wall to approach where you and Sam were getting to your feet. You gave Dean a nod of acknowledgement.
âI will,â you agreed. âThank you both. Iâm sorry Iâve taken up so much of your time, but Iâll be heading home now.â
âDid you take a bus or a taxi?â Sam asked.
âOh, I walked,â you replied, and you checked your watch as you gathered up your purse. You headed for the coatrack, but Dean got there first, helping you into your beige wool coat. It went nicely with the burgundy you had on, namely on your painted lips.
âThank you,â you said to him, but you still didnât smile. You were a hint demurer now. It seemed with Samâs promised help, the fire had dimmed behind your eyes and your tongue.
âHow about I give you an escort, make sure you get home okay?â Dean found himself offering. âItâs getting pretty late on a Friday.â
Sam shot him a knowing look, but Dean ignored him, instead focusing on your face.
You hesitated. âItâs a bit far though. Out of your way, Iâm sure.â
âAll the more reason that you shouldnât go it alone at this time of night,â he argued.
You considered his offer, and him, with a quick perusal. You seemed to be judging for yourself if he was trustworthy. Dean kept his posture straight, yet relaxed. Maybe heâd liked what he saw the moment he took you in, but after hearing your situation, he felt for you. It really was just an honest offer to walk you home.
âWhere did you serve?â you asked. âThe Army, the Navy, or the Air Forces?â
The question took him off guard for a beat, but he answered you.
âThe Army,â he replied.
âYour rank?â
âI was a sergeant, maâam.â
You looked at him a little more shrewdly, then you relaxed.
âI mightâve guessed,â you said. âAll right, Sergeant. Let���s go then.â
You buttoned up your coat and turned to leave the office. Dean shot his little brother a raise of his brows and a what do ya know? kind of smile. He grabbed his dark brown jacket and hat and followed you out.
Samâs smile was more reserved, with a shake of his head. He closed the door behind you and Dean and locked it. He still had some work he wanted to finish before tomorrow, and Deanâs little show of chivalry would give him time to do it.
Dean had his hands in his coat pockets as he walked with you down the long city sidewalk. Night had drawn into the November sky, but with all these lights, he couldnât see many stars. It was also cold as all hell. The frigid wind slapped at him every time they turned the corner of a building, snapping right into his bones.
Still, he supposed there was a kind of attractiveness to the city at night. The stores and their signs were all lit up gold and other neon colors. Couples and families walked together, all done up nice for wherever dinner reservation or movie they were trying to get to. It begged the question of what your husband was doing right now if he didnât notice his wife out at this time of night.
âWhereâs your husband tonight, if I might ask?â said Dean.
You shot him a look, reading between his lines.
âHe claims to be working late virtually every night of the weekdays,â you said, âbut he usually comes home stinking of alcohol.â Your eyes dimmed, even with the pretty lights shining in them. âHe was in the Army as well. A corporal. Heâs had a hard time adjusting to being back home, and I know that⌠He doesnât sleep very well. And do you know, he had a hard time finding work for a while too. Luckily, he has his fatherâs business to fall back on.â
Dean tried not to show how much your words resonated with him. He didnât think it a good thing to have common ground with your husband, if he was the kind of man you said he was.
âYeah? Whatâs his business?â he asked.
âHe manages a meat production plant, of all things,â you said.
âAh, located in the Meat Packing District, I presume?â
âYouâd presume right.â
Dean nodded. âI get it. I inherited the family home back in Lawrence. I just need to figure out whatâs next.â
âLawrence?â
âKansas.â
âOh, the Midwest,â you inclined your head. âWhatâs it like there?â
Dean scoffed. âDusty.â
You almost laughed at that. At least it earned him your first smile of the night.
âDo you have an idea of what youâll do for work?â you asked.
Dean chuckled. âNot just yet. Didnât plan that far, you know?â
âWhy not?â you asked.
âHmm. Guess I didnât see the point,â he replied with a mild shrug. It hid a deeper, darker well inside him. The part of him that hadnât thought heâd make it back home after the war. Â
You turned to him then, and you saw it behind his eyes. The two of you walked in silence for a little while as the neighborhood blocks began to shift and change, becoming somewhat quieter, more residential. Dean put himself between you and the sidewalk when a taxi zoomed by too close to the curb, resting a hand on the small of your back for protection.
Part of you trilled inside at the small touch, but you immediately beat that reaction down. Dean Winchester was an attractive man, to be sure. His hair was a lighter brown than his brotherâs, and shorter too. He had an air of roguishness about him, even though heâd been perfectly pleasant so far.
But by the way he eyed you when you came into the law office, you had a strong feeling he was a flirt. You had no room for that in your life, and not only because you were still a married woman.
Yet, there was something about him thatâŚwell, made you curious.
âI was a nurse,â you said eventually, earning his attention. âI was there when they liberated Paris.â
Dean turned to you with newfound interest lighting his green eyes. âYou were at Normandy.â
You nodded. âFor a while. Almost a year before D-Day.â
Dean let out a short, if humorless chuckle, running a hand through his hair.
âWell, thatâs where I was. At that time, at least,â he said. You gave him a similar look; respect, and perhaps finding a kindred spirit.
âI did what I could do before, during, and afterwards,â you said. âI think thatâs all we can do now, Mr. Winchester.â
âCall me Dean,â he said. âIf you like.â
A second smile almost tugged at your lips. You nodded in agreement.
âDean,â you said.
In another ten minutes, he was walking you up to your porch at your apartment building. You travelled up the four small steps, while Dean stopped at the second one. For the first time, you had the vantage point above him as you turned on your heel to face him. You were about to thank him when he shook his head, scoffing.
âThis guy must be dumb, deaf, and blind, sweetheart,â he said.
Your face warmed in a blush, and you gave a rueful smile when you realized what he meant. He was looking up at you like someone who couldnât understand your plight. You knew the feeling.
âThatâs kind of you, but you donât have to do that,â you said. Â
His brows furrowed. âDo what?âÂ
âTry to make me feel better,â you said, scuffing the toe of your sensible heels against the brick platform. Dean crossed his arms.Â
âWhy not?â he asked.
âBecause the fact of the matter is, Sergeant, words donât move me anymore.â You picked up your gaze from the ground, and you met his. âFlattery is just a pretty way of lying, and Iâve grown to really, truly hate lying.âÂ
It took him a moment, but Dean nodded.
âI guess thatâs fair,â he said. He had to stop himself before he proved your point with a smart word on your pretty smile. Although, it wouldnât have been a lie. He tipped his hat up. âGoodnight then, Mrs. Milligan.âÂ
You stopped him from leaving with just your voice.Â
âPlease,â you said, your eyes briefly closing. âJustâŚcall me by my name. My first name.âÂ
Dean slowly smiled. âPerfect. I like your name better anyway.âÂ
This time, your smile in return was genuine, if tinged with amusement.Â
âGoodnight, Dean,â you replied.
He gave you a charming grin and a more casual soldierâs salute. Then he stuck his hands back in his pockets, turned on his heel, and began to walk back the way he came. You couldnât help but watch him go for a second or two. His legs were slightly bowed under his slacks, you noticed.
With a blush, you shook your head to rid yourself of those silly thoughts. You closed the door.
That night, Michael came home late, as usualâthis time at two in the morning. He reeked of alcohol, also per usual, but this time when he rolled over towards you in bed to say goodnight, you stiffened. He also smelled like a womanâs perfume. Expensive stuff.Â
This was one of those signs you hadnât wanted to tell Sam Winchester. Frankly, it was crude and embarrassing.
âSorry itâs so late, darling. Got held up,â he said, kissing your shoulder through your nightgown. His fingers played with the ends of your hair while you laid facing away from him.
You squeezed your eyes shut. You were fighting every instinct you had inside you that wanted to recoil from his touch and bolt out of the bed. When just a few months ago, his touch was all you craved, almost desperately so.Â
âWhere were you?â you asked. Somehow, you kept your voice steady and calm. âYou werenât at the office all this time.â
âHad a couple of drinks with the guys after,â he said with a shrug. âSorry. The night got away from us, but, uhâŚIâll be home on time for dinner tomorrow.â
With your back turned to him, you were able to roll your eyes.
âWhatâd you make tonight, outta curiosity?â he asked.
âEgg salad sandwiches,â you replied flatly.Â
âHmm. No real loss there then.âÂ
Your teeth clenched. âIf I thought you were actually going to be home when you said you would, maybe I would make a rump roast with all the fixings.âÂ
Michael paused, but then, he grasped your shoulder, slowly turned you around in the bed until you were facing him. His face was sterner.Â
âExcuse me?âÂ
You remained quiet. Your gaze travelled downwards, avoiding his.
Michael huffed, shaking his head. âSometimes you got a real mouth on you. One of these days, you just might regret it.âÂ
He turned his back on you, laying on his side. You did the same while trying to stem your tears.
When did this become your life?
AN:Â Oof, sorry for all that angst at the end there, but I hope you liked the first chapter! Did you enjoy soldier!Dean and soldier/lawyer!Sam? Do you want to find a dark alley for Michael yet? đ
And are you ready for what's coming up next? đ
Next Time:
Dean both could and couldnât believe it. He might not have been a saint himself when it came to the fairer sex, but if he went through the whole ordeal of marrying one, let alone a straight-shooting woman like you, beautiful, cleverâŚ
âGeez,â he muttered. âHe couldâve at least waited until the ink dried on the certificate.âÂ
Sam nodded in agreement. He picked up the receipt to the Cotton Club, and he shot his brother a grin.
âWanna go to the club tonight?â
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in love with a machine
⥠time skip!Mitsuya Takashi x gn! reader
⥠angst to comfort
⥠warnings: kind of toxic behaviour from Mitsuya
⥠note: precious boy I know wouldâve trouble expressing his emotions at first after everything that happened to him, but then he would be able to demonstrate you all the love he has for you. Mitsuya brainrot atm đŽâđ¨
(navigation)



You were crying in your room, everything felt out of place, but mostly you; you felt alone, suffering for a situation that you couldnât solve. You were sitting on the floor trying to resist the tears that fell uncontrollably from your eyes; how were you supposed to change the way the world felt around you?Â
Sadness surrounded you and created a membrane all over your space, making you feel like you couldnât breath.
Your thoughts were raging, and you couldnât stop them. You wanted to talk to someone, any, but that someone in particular was the person you were running away from.Â
You were looking at your phone searching for an answer to your situation thinking that, maybe, your friends could distract you from the immense pain that was destroying you slowly. But then you realised that everyone had their things to do and no one wanted to hear you; at that thought you started to cry even more, feeling drowned by your emotions.Â
You closed your eyes, trying to think about something else, when the doorbell rang; your eyes widened startled by the sound.
You stayed still, not being able to move, not even a finger; the doorbell rang again, more furiously this time and it was unbearable to hear. It was followed by a moment of silence, so you decided to stand up and see who was bothering you in this delicate moment; your house wasnât big, so you reached the main door in a few seconds.
You leaned over the door and looked through the peephole; there you saw Mitsuya.
You backed away from the door but stayed there to look at it, as if it was him who was standing right in front of you and there was nothing between you two.
ây/nâŚâ you gulped at the sound of your name said with his silky voice, ââŚI know you can hear me so please open the doorâ he continued.
Tears flowed again from your eyes, this time even more violently than before; a sob left your mouth, and you immediately covered it with your hand. âplease⌠open the door, i donât want to argue anymoreâ he said after your sob, and you shook your head as if he could see you. Your vision was blurred because of all the tears in your eyes.Â
You heard a small thud on the door, and you supposed he must have leaned over it with his head âdonât cry baby, please⌠it hurts to hear you cryâ.Â
You missed him, you missed everything about him, but you couldnât stand his cold attitude anymore; he did everything to show you the opposite of what you wanted from him, but he always crawled back to you every time you decided to leave him. You and Mitsuya werenât a couple as you wished, you were just friends. But you fell in love with him. Thereâs always been a flirty air around you two, he talked to you in a way that was different compared to how he spoke to others, he touched you like you were the most important person for him; but every time you tried to confront him about the whole situation, he would back away and disappear for days.Â
In that moment you were crying because of his behaviour the day before. You saw him together with a girl; she was sat on his knees and she was kissing his neck while he laughed at something she said before. The moment he noticed you, his smile faded but he didnât try to hide the fact that he was with someone that wasnât you.
You were brought back to reality by him banging slowly on the door, âbaby⌠can you open the door please?â, ân-noâ you whispered trying to wipe your tears, but they didnât want to stop, neither your sobs.Â
He sighed. You heard movements from his side, and understood that he had sat down with his back leaned over the door, âat least now you are talking to meâ he chuckled softly. You went to sit down leaning on the door, imagining that there was nothing between you two and that you were leaned over his warm body.
After a moment of silence, where only your sobs could be heard, he talked âplease baby breath, try to calm downâ, he sighed. After hearing his gentle tone, you started to cry harder âw⌠why?â, you tried to talk but it was difficult; why was he there if he didnât care about you?
âbreathe with me⌠inhaleâ you heard him inhale, and after a few seconds you did the same ââŚexhaleâ and he exhaled, you following him.Â
After you managed to calm down both your tears and sobs, you tried to talk again "why⌠why are you⌠here?". You scanned the place in front of you, waiting for an answer.
He sighed, "I know I fucked up this time". There was a moment of silence âIâm sorry for everything I have put you through⌠you didnât deserve anything of thatâ he waited for a moment then continued âI love you... so much you canât even imagine, and I would punch myself knowing how much Iâve hurt you with my shitty attitudeâ.Â
You widened your eyes hearing his words. âIâm sorry If Iâm bad at everything but⌠for my whole life Iâve considered to be in touch with my emotions a weakness. I learned to suppress everything so that I wouldnât suffer anymore but, whenâŚâ he released a shaky sigh â⌠when I saw you the other day looking at me with your beautiful eyes and hurt all over your face, disappointed in everything that I am, I just wanted to run towards you and tell you how much I love you and how you donât deserve all this suffering.â
Tears started to fall again from your eyes when you stood up and opened the door. Mitsuya was leaning over it so, when you opened it, he lost balance and fell backwards between your feet.
He had surprise written all over his face but, when he saw you looking down at him, pink cheeks, tears on your face, and laughing at how he fell, he smiled. âwowâ was the only thing he said, his eyes glossy. You bent down over him and held his face between your hands âYou hurt meâ was the only thing you said, serious and sniffling. He stood up quickly and hugged you, âI know and you have all the right to hate meâ, you hid your face in his shoulder and held him closer. âI donât hate you, I love youâ, hearing your words he tightened the hold on you and hid his face in your neck.
âlet me make it up to you, I will make you the happiest personâ he said, voice muffled and breath that tickled your neck; you waited a few moments then heard something wet on your shirt. You were confused and released the grip on Takashi, pulling away from him to look at his face. He had tears running down his cheeks, âyou are cryingâ you said shocked.Â
He looked at the ceiling and tried to dry the tears with the sleeve of his shirt âno, Iâm notâ. You smiled, âyes, you areâ. He looked down at you and took a deep breath, âI love you y/n, Iâm sorry for hurting youâ.
You observed him; you had never seen him cry nor express his true feelings, and you could see the sincerity in his glossy eyes. You saw tenderness and affection directed towards you and you couldnât be happier. You smiled and rolled your eyes at his desperate face, wiping his tears âokay then...â, he lighted up âokay?!â.
You nodded, resting your forehead against his âyeah, Iâm giving you a possibility to show me Iâm not in love with a machineâ.
Š tetsuromybeloved do not copy,modify or repost.
#mitsuya tr#takashi mitsuya x reader#mitsuya fluff#mitsuya angst#mitsuya x reader#mitsuya takashi#tokyo revengers takashi mitsuya#tokrev mitsuya#mitsuya imagines#mitsuya tokrev#toman mitsuya#tokyo rev headcanons#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers imagines#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo rev x you#tokyo rev x y/n#tokyo revengers x you
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Here is my first requested song fic from my Spotify playlist! I'm sorry it took so long but I wanted it done a very specific way and it took a few rewrites đŽâđ¨ But anyway, this is for @hellotvshowtrash who wanted a Wanda fic with the song Rescue by Lauren Daigle â¤ď¸ Hope you enjoy it love!
If you want to request a song from the playlist you can find it here đ
You Are Not Alone
You are not hidden
There's never been a moment
You were forgotten
You are not hopeless
Though you have been broken
Your innocence stolen
Wanda had been your best friend since you were children. You families having lived in the same building, and having suffered similar losses due to the Stark missile. You were slightly younger than her and Pietro, so they took you in when the three of you lost your parents. If you thought you had been close before that was nothing compared to how you were after. So, it was even more of a blow to you when Piet and Wanda left to do those trial experiments for Hydra. That was the first time in your life you were truly alone. The years passed and while you moved on as best as you could and made a life for yourself, you still thought of them every day, even more when you saw Sokovia, your old home, and your best friends on the news, fighting for their lives and the lives of innocent people, alongside the Avengers.
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
It was almost like you felt it in your gut when Pietro was killed. And if you felt it, you couldnât even imagine how devastated Wanda must have felt. You had to find her, had to go to your best friend. It didnât matter that it had been years. Didnât matter that you felt abandoned when they left. She needed you and you would go to her, you had to.
There is no distance
That cannot be covered
Over and over
You're not defenseless
I'll be your shelter
I'll be your armor
It took you a week to get to her. You hardly slept. Hardly ate. But every step was one closer. Finally, you arrived at what was designated the Avengers Compound. You could tell she was here. You always had this sixth sense for where the twins were. It helped you cheat playing hide and seek as a child and you thanked whatever God or Goddess was listening for it now. You started to make your way inside only to be stopped by security. You didnât have an appointment, and no one knew who you were except Wanda, who was locked in her room. But then there was Vision. He didnât need to look at you long to know the connection you had to Wanda and Pietro. He called off the guards and brought you to her room, thanking you for coming in a gentle voice before resuming his previous task, leaving you alone to finally see your best friend again after all this time.
I hear the whisper underneath your breath
I hear you whisper; you have nothing left
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
I will never stop marching to reach you
In the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you
You could hear the soft sniffles that indicated she had been crying but trying to hide it. You gently knocked then pushed the door open. Wandaâs eyes drifted up from her hands in her lap to meet your own before she was off her bed and in your arms. It had been years, yet it felt like minutes since you last held each other. You were both bigger now and both had seen so much more of the world. You each had your fair share of joy and trauma. But you were together again. Together after a gut-wrenching loss. Just like all those years ago. Back then, it felt like Wanda and Pietro had rescued you. Now it was your turn to rescue her.
Oh, I will rescue you
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𩸠period hormones + brains đ§
If you are reading this, you are probably a person who gets our not-so-loved â¨periodâ¨, and if you are, you must be familiar with the feeling of having a hormone monstress (or monster) inside you that makes you feel bad physically and emotionally. đ You cannot get your tasks done properly, you feel like your hormones are going crazy (which also makes YOU crazy) and you just want to go and watch Netflix with a big ice cream pot during this special time of the month, am I right? đ¤ But why is that happening to us?

In case you have not heard about them, the hormones progesterone and oestrogen (both produced during our menstrual cycle, more specifically during its luteal phase aka the pre menstruation phase), as well as their co-dependent changes throughout the course of a femaleâs (or not đłď¸âđ) lifetime, have long been known to play an important role in the growth and equilibrium of people who have a menstruation cycle. đЏ
It is known that the variation of these two hormones can cause some physical discomforts such as, for example, acne, cramps, and tender breasts (as you probably know very well đ). As stated by M. Guida, J. Y. Yen and others, we also have some neurovegetative matters (donât freak out, this only refers to non-voluntary nervesâ distribution to the organs, on the word of the online free dictionary by Farlex) like sleeping and eating issues. đ¤đ¨
However, this hormonesâ variation has lately been shown to have an essential importance in the neurological and psychological growth and function as well. đ§ According to M. A. Farage and colleagues, brain function, our perception, mood, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, among other things are affected by our menstrual cycle (and probably we all can relate to this đŠ). Btw, look at that beautiful and mean hormone monstress! đ
A lot of people suffer from sex hormone based mental health disorders, for instance the premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which is now classified as a new depressive disorder in the DSMâ5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). đŹÂ Yup, things are real, for the folks out there who thought we are just drama queens/kings... đââď¸

As stated by the Cambridge University Press, it is considered PMDD when the different menstruation symptoms I have told you about, which emerge before the period starts and decrease when it comes, affect people in a debilitating way, what can significantly affect their quality of life as well. It tends to impact only five to eight percent of reproductive-age individuals so don't worry, you probably don't suffer from this specific disorder. Phew! đŽâđ¨ đ¤
We also have the premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which is known as way weaker than the PMDD but is still clinically relevant, as it should, because it also has an influence on the quality of a personâs life. As said by J. Gandy, it is estimated that thirty to forty percent of people who have a menstruation cycle suffer with PMS; however, a larger number of individuals describe emotional problems connected to this. Well, Jessie from New Girl definitely does! đđ
S. Tschudin stated that during the premenstrual stage of our cycle, nearly sixty percent of people feel at least minor "anger or irritability"/"tearfulness or mood swings" (personally, I just transform into a little Hulk đşđ˘). Moreover, studies made by L. Dennerstein suggest that the presence of no less than one premenstrual symptom throughout someone's reproductive life might as well be drastically greater, estimated to be up to ninety percent. I know, our struggle is real, donât you agree? đđđ

To wrap things up, let's talk a bit about self-esteem and our cycle. Talking generally, the link between poor levels of self-esteem and depression is well known, as individuals who feel depressed tend to feel that way about themselves. đ Self-esteem and confidence have always been important to people since it enables individuals to manage more effectively day-to-day occurrences, among many other reasons. A person with bigger self-love = a happier person. đđ¤
D. Taylor has shown in his research that levels of self-esteem were lower in the premenstrual phase in people who suffer from PMS. Multiple research (specifically done by U. Orth in 2008 and K. Dedovic in 2014, if you want to check them) also showed that poor levels of self-esteem may be seen as a clinical indication of a depressed mood, which can back D. Taylorâs research as, in general, we tend to feel more depressed in this cycleâs phase. đ Thanks to our period for murdering our self-esteem! đ¤
The menstrual cycle is an important subject for researching how sex hormone variations affect us psychologically during our cycle. Though scientific studies on the menstrual problems that I have talked about, such as PMDD, are relatively not many, this information shows us that people who are most affected by these disorders may have more psychological issues that can debilitate them. đ However, I want you guys to understand that, even with the existent studies we have, a link between any psychological changes observed and the menstruation cycle has not actually been confirmed yet. đ¤Â
Although I made this post to give you more info about this topic, it is still unclear if the mood changes and other psychological symptoms affect our cognitive abilities, or if there is a specific and implicit hormonal disorder that is affecting them, but researchers are working on it and improving what we know about it day by day. Yay! đđ I hope I was able to help you better understand how and why our bodies work like that. Iâll leave you with an awesome Ariel meme. đ¤ That's all for today friends, bye-bye! âď¸đ
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Dear Diary, horrible I cannot see anyone who has ever wronged me live a peaceful life, any of them must suffer the consequences for making me losing my careers and now I have nothing to do But to gamble on football to make money𼚠they have made me suffer so much even when I committ suicide they still keep me alive just to expect me to serve their purposes, which is to raise their mediocre children đ Sorry But I am not your maid, you have got to try more, after all, your children are just mediocre babies, I really encourage them to stop thinking so high of themselves đŹ my friends really have no idea How many people scattered all over the world were already dead for their childrenđŽâđ¨
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